Letter To God

Author Unknown

Dear God,

Please remember these few things when taking care of my boy.

He likes to walk back and forth in the pond, chasing the blue gills, watching close for you to reel in the “big one”. He will then “hold” the stringer for you. Please take him fishing.

The lizards in the tree stumps won’t be safe anymore, so you’d better hide the lizards.

If you put dog bones in your robes, he will “wave” at you until you give him one. Give him two.

His day bed is the one closest to the fireplace. If there is a girl lying in it he will come and rest his head on your knee until you remove her. His bedtime is 8 p.m.; please help him up the stairs.

Don’t leave freshly baked pies on the counter, no matter how crippled he becomes, he will always eat it. Blueberry is his favorite, with just a little cinnamon.

If there is a child in the water he will bring it out, especially if it is having a good time. If there is a small child walking with a cracker, he will keep the child from overeating. Please give him a child to follow.

Don’t leave any ladders leaning against your house, he will be found on the roof.

I hope there is a playground nearby with lots of kids, he will wait his turn at the slide, and bark when he gets to the bottom.

Be careful when you spell out words like “C-A-R R-I-DE”. and ” E-A-T,” even “B-U-N-N-Y”, He knows how to spell, you had better be ready to follow through.

When you take him on a trip, and stop to rest, just tell him to ” be a good Boy”, he will lift his leg whether he has to go or not.

He can’t “go” with a leash on, it makes him cough. In fact don’t even show him a leash, he will choke.

He also can’t go for a walk without his Dummy in his mouth, He can’t make it past the gate, he likes the orange one the best.

The top of his head will become pointed if you don’t kiss it often during the day. Then his hats won’t fit.

He can’t sleep unless he is on the right side of the bed.

When you give him a marrow bone, make sure his mom is there too, he likes to use her back as a table and get her all slimy.

If you tell him to “stay”, make sure you come back to release him, he will stay there for days.

During the football games, if you get a chip, he gets a chip.

He doesn’t like the nuts with the shell on them, peel them please.

If you go to the lake then stop for ice cream on the way home, he always gets the first lick and then the bottom of the cone too, please.

Don’t use a buoy to tie off your boat, he will spend all afternoon trying to drag it to shore.

If you take him camping, he has to sleep between you and Mrs. God, on the softest part of the foam pad.

When the Japanese tourists get off the bus at the Grand Canyon, have them take a group photo instead of one at a time, he gets too tired of smiling.

Don’t get mad at him when you come home and his head is in the dog food bin, he has to stretch is stomach muscles every now and then.

That’s all for now God. Tell him we love him, miss him, and hope he likes the food up there.

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